Start Remembering Shit! Thursday, Apr 5 2007

Dear Dad,

Look, I’m am sick and fucking tired of you not remembering shit because you are becoming an old fucker! Just because something you are looking for isn’t in the first fucking place you look, doesn’t mean I fucking took it! I’m tired of being your fucking scapegoat for shit just because you don’t want to grow the fuck up,and face that facts that you are getting old and losing your memory.  Get up your fat lazy ass and start looking in more than one fucking place, and longer than 15 fucking seconds, and maybe,just fucking maybe, you would find whatever it is that you looking for.And it doesn’t matter what it is that you think you have, or you think you know where it should be, and when it’s not it doesn’t fucking automatically mean I have it, or I took it. I’ve seen you many times look for some shit for less than a nanosecond, and then come yell at me because I took your, whatchamacallit, only to have you find it an hour or so later when  you aren’t even looking for it anymore. And do you even have the common coutesy to apologize to me for blaming me for taking it? NO! You just go about your day, like nothing ever happened, living in your onw fucked up senile world. You can die in a vat of piss, and that would still be a too good of death for you.

Love your Son,

Grik

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Start Listening to Me! Wednesday, Aug 16 2006

Dear Mom,

 

I don’t know why I bother to even talk to you anymore. You never listen to anything I have to say. Everything I tell you goes in one ear and out the other without ever sinking in or registering in your brain. I’ll give you a new example. Today at 9:15 in the friggin morning you busted into my room, no hello, good morning, or a polite wakeup for you. Oh no you busted in yelling at me before I was even awake. Do you have any idea what that is like to be woken up by someone yelling at you? Needless to say it’s not pleasant. Anyway, what were you yelling about, the fact that it was Tuesday and I want in school. Well ordinarily I would be ok with that, because at 9:15 I should be walking out the door not sleeping still, but I told you Thursday, when I found out, that the school’s computer lab was broken into, and about 85% of the computers, servers, monitors were taken. I told you then that I didn’t have school on Tuesday (today), because they needed time to replace the computers and servers so classes could actually be in session. But apparently you just decided to not listen to me and come barging into my room to yell at me. Well you know what Mom. FUCK YOU! I hate it when you are home from work, everything has to be done your way, and you totally have no respect for my rhythm and how I do things during the day. Well since you are off for a week before you start your new job, you aren’t going to fuck up my rhythm this week. I am going to continue the week as how I do everything during the week and you can either be happy with it or you can fuck right off. And maybe if you started listening to me and remembering what the fuck I told you, you and I would have more conversations.

 

Love your Son,

Grik

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Enough Already! Wednesday, Jul 5 2006

Dear Mom, 

 

I have a little problem with you. I’m sick and tired of being blamed for anything and everything thing that comes up missing in this house. I don’t care whether it’s food, or just crap laying around the house like printer paper or pencils or pens or anything like that. When you can’t find something it doesn’t mean I took it or ate it. There are 4 other people living in this house you know, And it’s not getting blamed that pissed me off, I could care less about that, it’s the the pissed off sighs and huffs and puffs when I tell you I don’t have it or I don’t know where it is and tell you to go ask someone else. That’s what really pisses me off; it’s like you don’t believe what I just told you. I mean if you aren’t gonna believe what I told you and you come and ask me in the mindset that I am already guilty, what’s the fucking point of even asking me then? And it’s not like this only happens when I’m home, you will ask me anything when I have been gone and come home. How the fuck should I know where anything is if I’ve been gone for a week camping or a couple days hanging out with friends or whatever, I WASN”T HERE SO I DON”T KNOW OR REALLY GIVE A FUCK! You need to stop asking me where everything is that you can’t find after you have looked for it for maybe 30 seconds.  Just leave me alone and continue to look for it for at least a good 5 or 10 minutes before you come yelling at me about taking something that you can’t find. It will make you life and not to mention mine much, much, much easier. 

Love Your Son,Grik

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Why Mom why? Friday, Jun 16 2006

Dear Mom,

 

You need to grow up and face the fact that I am a grown man. I understand that since I still live at home while I’m in school, that I have to follow your rules for living here. I accept that. What really pisses me off to no end is that I have to let you know every little detail about where I'm going if I go out. You can’t just let it go at “Hey Mom, I’m going out with the guys. I’ll be back late tonight.” You have to have every little detail about the trip, who I’m going with, where I’m going, why I’m going where I’m going, and how much money I intend to spend. I don’t understand why that’s any of your fucking business. You just need to be happy that I told you I’m leaving. I know, I know it’s called being a mom and you worry. I get that , what I don’t get is why if you aren’t home when I leave and I tell Dad where I’m going, and he forgets to tell you, I get a phone call from you and you’re yelling and screaming at me because I didn’t tell you where I was at. Well I don’t have to tell y you if you aren’t home, I am supposed to tell either you or Dad, and if I tell Dad and he forgets to tell you fucking deal with it and get off my back. I didn’t do anything wrong, I followed all the rules, you just need to understand that and let it go you friggin control freak. You knew that this day would come when you popped me out, you’ve hat many, many years to deal with it, SO GET OVER IT ALREADY! Your little boy has become a man and there isn’t a friggin thing you can do to change it. It’s called life, it goes on, people grow up, people die. You cope with that and move on. So move on already, I’m all grown up and you can’t change it. I love you, but you need to just realize that fact.

 

Love Your Son,

Grik

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Why are you so lazy? Thursday, May 18 2006

Dear Dad,

I’m glad to see you are finally getting up off your ass and cleaning up the house that you have neglected for almost 20 years. I know you had to work for the Army during 15 of those years but still you couldn’t even do minor work around the house to keep looking nice. You finally cleaned out the back shed, wait let me rephrase that, I finally cleaned out the back shed under your constant yelling because I wasn’t doing it right. So after 2 or 3 hours of cleaning the shed out and throwing away all the junk and trash accumulated into it into a trailer so you could take it to the dump, you have the nerve to yell at me when you told me to put everything in the trailer. I’m sorry that I couldn’t read your friggin mind that you wanted me to put that stuff in the trailer you were taking to the swap meet, NOT the trailer of trash, you know the one I have been putting shit in for the last 3 hours. So fuck you for not being clear about which friggin trailer this shit was supposed to go in. You had no right to yell at me for tearing up $500 bucks worth of shit (so you say it just looks like junk to me), because you didn’t clarify what trailer this “valuable” junk was supposed to go in. I don’t mind helping you clean up the house, hell I've been doing it more than you have over the years, it’s practically my house since you haven’t done shit to it, but I'm not your personal fucking slave. If you want me to help you, you ACTUALLY need to do some friggin work too, not just stand around and yell at me because I’m not doing it right, no, no let me restate that , not doing it the way you want it done because any other way is the wrong way, because it isn’t your way. It’s your house you need to be doing 95% of the work not 5%, and making me do the rest. Get up off your lazy no good ass and do some work you asshat!

Love Your Son,

Grik

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Why do you hate me so? Tuesday, May 9 2006

Dear Mom and Dad,

So I finally hear that my sister is moving back in and she gets my old room. All I have to say is why do you hate me so and love her so much more? I mean I moved out and you couldn’t wait to turn my old room into your sewing room, which is cool but you could have at least waited till I HAD MOVED out. Instead you started to paint my room the minute it was half empty, you didn’t give a shit that I still had to live there, and then when I turned out that I had to stay an extra week past what the landlord told me I had to look at my freshly painted room in all your flowery, pastel paint colors. It was bullshit, absolutely no respect to me whatsoever. And that is just the tip of the iceberg, my sister has always been your favorite, has always gotten every advantage you could give her, you paid for everything she ever wanted or need or thought she wanted. In the meantime I was forced to get a job at 16 so I could actually have money and so I could pay you back for the piece of shit car you bought me, and pay for everything I needed at school for everything I was involved in. Not that I minded having to get a job at 16 I wanted to anyway but being forced to so I could pay you for the car and for insurance to drive the car and then hoping I had money left over to hang out with my friends, it just wasn’t fair. So I moved out and got a place and when shit happens and had to move back home I had to jump through countless hoops  and had countless rules put on me( its like living in a prison here), but I had to abide by them because I had no where else to go. By this time my sister had moved out so I was thinking since I cant have my old room back maybe ill get here room instead and be in the house But no I couldn’t have been farther from the truth, instead I got stuck out in the exercise room, with no heat and electricity and not even in the fucking house. I dealt with it and fixed that place up and made it habitable with my own and how do you repay me? you yell at me for doing shit in your “ house “ that you didn’t authorize. Well screw you asshats for treating me so shabbily, But I do thank you for it has made me a stronger man, and I will never, NEVER treat my kids the way you have treated me. I do thank you for that but for everything else you guys can go to hell.

Love Your Son,

Grik

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Dear Dad Thursday, May 4 2006

Dear Dad,

Why are you such an asshat? For the last 9 months or so you have done nothing but tell the entire family that you will be dead in less than a year. You won’t tell us why you know this, if it comes from doctor’s tests about your diabetes or whatnot, you just tell us you know it will happen. Every month you deem it worthy to bring up this subject around dinner, and to remind us that even though you will be dead that we will be taken care of. You have worked everything out so we will be well off financially after you die. Well that’s all well and good but I really cant take the stress of knowing you’re going to be dead and not knowing why, or how you know that you are going top die. I wish you would stop being such an assho9le and tell us what the doctor’s have been telling you, it’s only fair that we know too since we are your family. Well after a couple months of not bringing it the subject up, you just had to open that can of worms again at dinner last night didn’t you? Well I'm sick and tired of hearing about it, I love you with all my heart, but if you’re going to friggin die, just fucking do it already. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t want you to go but I’m tired of hearing about it every friggin couple of weeks or month. It’s comet o the point to just shut the fuck up about it, or to just do it. I can’t handle the stress and wondering when this is going to happen since you seem to be 100% sure you are going to die. I don’t think you are going to I think you just think you are because your diabetes has acted up a little, and you are scared. Well so are we, who in their right mind likes to talk about that subject, or to think of you being dead. Since I know you are just scared and you aren’t going to drop dead anytime soon, SHUT THE FUCK UP about it already you asshat! Let’s enjoy the life you have left, and at only 65 you have many, many years yet, and not talk about you dying. I love you, but shut up about it already.

 

 

Love Your Son,

Grik

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Why Dad why??? Thursday, Apr 27 2006

Dear Dad,

Why do you have to constantly wake me up before 8am every friggin morning? I don’t mind it on Tuesdays and Thursday because I have school, but every other friggin day is not cool. Just because you were in the Army for 30 friggin years, and had to be up and doing shit by 5 AM doesn’t mean I have to be. Leave me alone and let me sleep for fucks sake. It’s not like I sleep all friggin day, I’m up by 11AM at the latest. Instead of waking me up before the butt crack of dawn every morning why don’t you sleep in like a normal person? Oh, and I don’t need a list of 100 friggin chores to do every day, I don’t have to be doing something every second of the friggin day, ESPECIALLY when you don’t pay my happy ass for it. I’m not your friggin personal slave, you asshat! And I don’t need to help you fix up the house because you were too lazy to keep up on maintenance since you bought the house, and now that you have a shitload of maintenance to do to bring the house back up to code, and into a sellable condition, well that’s your own damn fault. You would be better of just giving me the house and going buying a new one since this one requires so much work. I wouldn’t mind fixing up the house then since it would be mine, but I’m not working my ass off and not hanging out with my friends, and pretty much being confined to the house because there is so much friggin work to be done, just to have you sell it and not give me any part of the profits. It would only be fair after all since I did 95% of the work to fix the house, but you could give a shit about me or what’s fair. So in closing stop waking me up before 8AM, and start doing your own work around this house you lazy ass bastard!

Love Your Son,

Grik

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Driving Thursday, Apr 20 2006

Dear Mom,

Where did you learn to drive? I mean honestly you drive worse than the 90 year old woman who ran here car through a bank's plate glass window in Florida 3 times before her car finally died. I mean just because it says the speed limit is 35 doesn’t mean you have to do EXACTLY the speed limit and hold up everyone behind you. You wonder why when they pass you and honk their horns and give you the finger, well that’s why! You are the worst driver I have ever seen. I mean when you take a right turn you don’t have to slow down to 5 mph, the car will be able to take the turn at 20-25 or so. I mean seriously you need to be tested for your license every 3 years just like all the other old people you bitch about. You don't have to brake when other cars are breaking in front of you when they are 100 yards away. Learn to drive you old woman, or better yet get off the friggin road and stop putting all the other people who are driving lives at risk. If I didn't have to drive on the roads at the same time you as do, I wouldn't. I wouldn't unnecessarily put my life at risk like that. I want to live to be past 25, not die because you don't know how to drive. GET OFF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!

Love Your Son,

Grik

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Computers Wednesday, Apr 19 2006

Dear Mom and Dad,

Honestly how many fucking times do i have to tell you how to use the computer? I mean I know it's all new technology for your old asses, but fuck how many times do I have to show you how to insert a friggin CD?!?!?!? You would think after the 1,000th time you would understand but no you don't. you call me to fix the computer on a weekly basis because you constantly crash it, yet I'm not allowed to use the computer because I " crashed" it and I don't " know" what I'm doing. I'm sick and tired of helping you learn how to do the same tasks over and over and getting no fucking credit, and getting blamed for every friggin virus that you contract to the computer or everytime you friggin crash it, even though I don't use the damn thing. All I gots to say it FUCK YOU GUYS!!!! I'm done helping you . Go take a friggin computer class or something to learn to use the machine, or better yet just face the inevitable that you are a bunch of computer illerteraite savages and you will never learn how to use a fucking computer, no matter if Bill Gates' himself showed you how.

Love Your Son,

Grik

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